Reflection
by P-Chan The Magnificent
Summary: Darth Vader reflects on how much he hates what he has become the day he kills Obi-Wan......


Disclaimer: All the characters in Star Wars are stamped property of the great and powerful George Lucas......may he live forever!! So, anywho don't sue.......all I have is my radio and many drawing utensils and if you take either away I will hunt you down. ^_^  
  
Author's Notes: (read if you wanna know what in the name of cheese whiz I've been doing) Okay, last I remember I wrote a note promising fics near my b-day. Last year. I lied. I'm sorry peeps but I've been feeling very terrible about my writing for a very long time. I mean my goal in life is to be a comic book artist and I even started doubting my artistic abilities and all the ideas for comic stories that I store up in my noggin. (I'm pretty damn afraid to post my ideas on the web because some jack-ass might steal my toiled over idea and get credit for it and then I would have to go Jackie Chan on his/her ass!! ^^) I even deleted all the fics I had previously posted. ::sigh:: If you guys liked any of those and would like to read them again, please tell me and I will do my best to scrounge them up and re-post them. Anywho, I wrote this fic last night and decided...what the hell.......I'll post it. So, if you're leaving criticism.....please be nice about it. ^_^ Please? Oh yes, if Darth Vader can't take off his helmet.......erm........pretend!! YAY!! ^_^  
  
"Hey wait? What the hell is this story about?!?": The day Darth Vader kills Obi-Wan, he reflects on how much he hates himself............  
  
  
~Reflections~  
  
  
"I......I hate you!!," I screamed loudly. "I hate you......." My face?! It's.....my skin is so pale! I touched my face. My hand went to the top of my head expecting to find handfuls of beautiful, golden hair. Gone. "I look ghastly!!," found its way out of my mouth. Has it really been so long since I looked in a mirror?! .............Yes.........its been some time..................  
  
My thoughts returned back to what I had been screaming only seconds ago. "I hate you!!," I yelled while staring at my reflection. It's true. I do hate myself.....or at least.....what I've turned into. I gazed down at myself. I'm more machine now than man.......so cold.....unfeeling. My mind began racing as I remembered.....how......how uncaring I truly am. How I am nothing more than a monster.......  
  
FLASHBACK  
  
I smiled confidently through my helmet. Yes, he would see now. How strong darkness can be. What a wonderful ally it is. My red lightsaber crackled as I swung it through the air with ease.  
  
It was most definently him. My old master, Obi-Wan Kenobi. Older, yes, but unmistakably him. His blue eyes shone in determination as he deflected my blows. Same old footwork I noticed. To others he would appear skilled but I could real all of his moves.  
  
"An opening!," my brain screamed. I smiled deviously. "I'll see you in hell Kenobi," I thought to myself while sending the red blade through his body. With a serene smile, he vanished. His cloak and lightsaber clattered to the floor. I stomped on the dusty cloak as if to crush any remains of his person from my mind. I had finally beaten him......finally..............  
  
END FLASHBACK  
  
That had only been hours ago. At the time it had been a triumph to me. Now, I wanted nothing more than to have someone strangle me........I had just killed my best friend. I had killed him and not thought a thing about it. Bitter tears started rolling down my pale cheeks.  
  
"I hate you!!!," I cried vehemently while smashing my fist into the mirror. I could taste salt as the tears started rolling into my mouth. Shards of glass clattered to the floor. "Obi-Wan!! Obi-Wan!! I'm sorry!! Please forgive me!!!!!!........"  
  
FLASHBACK  
  
"Oh no!," I whispered to myself. I, I didn't........I hadn't....oh geez. The blaster clattered to the floor. I didn't know it was loaded! I have only been Obi-Wan's padawan for........well...not very long! He's gonna hate me!  
  
I ran over to the broken item. Bits of beautifully painted glass covered the floor. "He's really gonna hate me!," I whispered while picking up the pieces. I had broken his favorite statue..........a special one that Qui-Gon had given him. With a sigh and a prayer I tried fitting the pieces together. Tears started rolling down my cheeks. I don't think he liked my too much before and now he's surely going to hate me! He's going to hate me and he was the only person I had left to cling to.  
  
The door whirred open and my heart stopped, but my brain ran a million miles a minute. Hide it? No good. He'd notice that it was gone. Lie? Jedi can read minds!! There's no way out. No way...........  
  
"Anakin! What in holy hell happened here?!?!," he asked, eyes scanning the room, voice full of concern. I hung my head in shame as new tears formed in my eyes. "Obi-Wan," I whispered shakily, "I........I was holding the blaster and........I didn't know it was loaded! I.......I broke your favorite statue.........," I gasped in pain and frustration while trying to catch enough breath to finish. "Please don't hate me!!," I wailed loudly while avoiding his gaze.  
  
I felt two hands land softly on my shoulders and with a soft `plop' I knew he was kneeling in front of me. "Anakin.........look at me........," he said softly. I pulled my head up to meet his eyes. Blue eyes scanned my face uncertainly. "Are you hurt?" I shook my head `no'. "Then everything's okay!," he nearly yelled with a broad smile. My mouth dropped to the ground.  
  
"But.......but........I..I broke your favorite statue! Qui-Gon gave it to you........and......and......," I stammered quizzically.  
  
"Anakin it's true. It was my favorite statue but it was only a wordly possession. I have something even greater than that. Qui-Gon gave me all the memories. All the great times we shared together. And even you.....," he began with a chuckle," Can't take that away from me." I looked in his eyes. No hate, no disgust. Only compassion and love.  
  
"So.....you....you forgive me then?," I questioned uncertainly.  
  
"Ani, I will always forgive you. Remember that........," he said softly. My heart flooded with joy and I lept into his arms. "I'll always forgive you......."  
  
END FLASHBACK  
  
"I don't deserve it. I don't deserve your forgiveness, Obi-Wan......," I whispered. "I don't deserve anyone's forgiveness..........." I put my head in my hands and felt my heart rip into a hundred thousand pieces. For the first time in a long time I began thinking about others and not myself. How I hurt and disappointed so many. Ami, oh......how I miss her...and I've put her through so much. My mother......she wanted me to be a strong, wise Jedi. If she could see me now what would she say?! I'm not a powerful Jedi, but a tool of pure evil.............Oh! And this is only the beginning!!   
  
My head racks with waves of pain. I slowly stumble over to my bed, smashing the shards of glass as I went.  
  
That night my dreams were full of happiness, times passed by......cherished loved ones: a best friend who told me he'd always forgive me, a long lost love of my life, a wonderful, beautiful woman who I called mother, a mentor who first believed in me, and...a sandy-haired, blue-eyed boy that I'd left behind.   
  
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Hey, hey! How didja like it? Please lemme know by reviewing! It would make my day!!  
Oh! I recommend everyone watch The Hunchback of Notre Dame! I'm watching it while typing!! It's SO good! ::sniff:: (FYI: Notre Dame means `Our Lady'. Nifty, eh?)  
  
Words to live by (er.......sorta......):  
Umi from Magic Knight Rayearth: "I guess justice goes before pastries! ::sigh::"  
  
  



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